Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Smithereens of a self

The hardest, almost unachievable, task in the world is to keep yourself together; to prevent the sundry fragments of your being from scattering into the wind on a restive evening. Like petals of a dandelion, your atoms attach themselves to your existence and one whiff of change is enough to disperse them. You nurture your loosely adhesive marbles of sanity, grapple to keep them together, in the concave pit of your reasoning, resisting inclinations and embracing inertia. You sever kinship with tears. Stoicism is your consort (but not your comfort). You bury your unraveling seams inside, wear your courage inside out. Your semblance hangs threateningly by one thread of an unsecured belonging. Your carefully under-rug-swept irk shows an ugly hunch. And as you taste your angrily brewed tea on that restive evening, bitterness is what rolls upon your tongue and slides down across your splintering length.

Your perfectly mistimed mistakes spill out of the closet of your skin and it begins to crack, oozing them out. You look at your diffident feet, too scared to take even the easiest step. You envy the carelessness your heart was once, not far long ago, capable of. Your hands tremble as you reach the innards of your composure to prod it a little, for prodding may ease you a little bit. The immediate under surface may settle if left astir. Maybe you should abandon the vain trails of resoluteness. Sometimes you should pain yourself to find numbness. It’s funny how you will learn to grow out of the unchanging. How you will learn that the constancy you feel will be temporary. Resilience is not always the answer to a meltdown, sometimes acquiescence is. It is untrustingly yet dependably okay to let your faith waver in yourself. For sometimes you learn what’s wrong only when u quit trying.

Art title – fragments

Artiste – Jorgen Klausen

Image url - here

No comments: